Tried to grab some coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts today. In the mall in Saugus. That was mistake number one.
So this deranged woman shambles up to the counter and asks, “You got hot chocolate in four sizes, right?” The guy working the counter answers in the affirmative. “I’ll take one in the second size up,” she barks. “You mean, medium?” he asks. “Yeah, that’s the one! Medium!”
And while this blog is in the business of sharing terrifying Christmas-related incidents, I had two run-ins with Santa this weekend. Neither was full of cheer.
Yesterday, driving out of Davis, I saw a fat, angry, bald guy in a Santa suit nosing his red Explorer out into traffic. He was trying to take a left turn, but nobody appeared inclined to let him make such a maneuver. So he responded by sitting in the middle of the road, in his Santa suit, screaming and swearing at the traffic driving past. There were also angry hand gestures. Lots of them. Who wants to sit on Santa’s lap?
Then there was this morning. Old guy with white beard and red stocking cap limps out of a Chinese joint on West Broadway. A pack of teenage Southie savages stop, point, and scream. “HEYYYY SANTA! LOOK GUYS IT’S FRIGGIN’ SAAANTA!”