So my regular barber shop is on vacation, and I find myself at this other place down the street. I never go in there, because it looks like the type of place that’s full of filthy old men. But I’m weeks overdue and staring down a wedding this weekend, so there I am, in this shop full of filthy old guys jawing at each other.
Barber to old guy drooling on himself: “Hey! How come you didn’t shave for me today? I shaved for you!”
Old guy, wiping drool off himself: “Ah! I shaved my legs for you!”
The barber, paying no attention to the “take a good amount off the top” instructions he’s been charged with, points to the bikini calendar on the wall and yelps, “You’d shave for her, I bet.”
“Bah, I already fucking had her!”
“When, this morning?”
“Yup!”