But. BUT. Plenty of world leaders can go shirtless. If this Obama character wants to be taken seriously, he’s got to flex his pecs next to some mountains and fishing rods and guns and bullet-riddled bodies of vanquished journalists.

Or, maybe, strip Bernie Madoff naked, pile him into a human pyramid, let the dogs loose, smoke one of those cancer sticks he loves so much, point and laugh, and say, “You’re next, Mahmoud.”

Only then will America’s (shirtless) standing in the world be restored.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g5QYlphkm4

In a stern memo to all House staff, the speaker’s personnel chief warned workers that the word “casual” does not cover the wearing of tank tops, shorts or denim jeans. And while political flip-flops may be common on Beacon Hill, the kind you wear on your feet are forbidden. … An unwritten rule requires men to wear a jacket when in the chamber when the Senate is in session, and court officers are there to enforce it. The rule extends to reporters, and lockers in the Statehouse press gallery hold a stash of blue blazers for under-dressed journalists.

As a journalist and a slob, this story cuts close to home. I don’t think I’ve worn flip-flops inside the State House this year, but that’s likely only because I’ve been on deadline recently. When I was in the Dig‘s employ, the weeks between Memorial Day and Labor Day didn’t just mark Sapphire and tonic season – they meant no shoes allowed, even when out covering important government business. For much of last year, I cruised around in a particularly garish pair of orange flip-flops I picked up for $3 at Walgreen’s. Other, far sweatier writers were totally bitter, but a few city councilors, stuffed in their suits, expressed jealously. No more, it appears. Excuse me while I crawl away and weep.