Paul McMorrow - Snappy Title TK TK » Overheard

Call it a Pact

admin — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 18:05:13 +0000

Today on the Red Line I overheard a group of high school girls discussing their classmates’ summer plans. Specifically: “People are going to get pregnant!”

Girl on the T is Friends with Some Other Girl, Who is Always Angry, Apparently

admin — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:36:10 +0000

Overheard on the Red Line recently: “I only think I’ve seen her smile once. And it was when she won money gambling.”

Girl’s Parents Don’t Want Her to Eat Unless She Can Get Into Harvard

admin — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 12:11:44 +0000

Overheard on the T yesterday: A gaggle of teenagers grousing about college.

One girl is asked about how awesome it must be to have gotten into MIT. She responds, not very, because nothing but Harvard will do for her parents.

“Aren’t your parents just happy that you’re living?” one asked.

“No,” she answered shamefully, “they’re depressed because I’m another mouth to feed.” This girl will totally fit in at MIT.

Age-Old Debate Rages On

admin — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 22:03:42 +0000

I was up in Maine this past weekend, eating pancakes and listening in on the conversation at the table of old guys nearby. One of them mentions Bob Dylan. Another lets out a loud “BAGH!”-type noise. “I can’t stand that … Continue reading →

Tales from the Barber Shop

admin — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:39:17 +0000

So my regular barber shop is on vacation, and I find myself at this other place down the street. I never go in there, because it looks like the type of place that’s full of filthy old men. But I’m weeks overdue and staring down a wedding this weekend, so there I am, in this shop full of filthy old guys jawing at each other.

Barber to old guy drooling on himself: “Hey! How come you didn’t shave for me today? I shaved for you!”

Old guy, wiping drool off himself: “Ah! I shaved my legs for you!”

The barber, paying no attention to the “take a good amount off the top” instructions he’s been charged with, points to the bikini calendar on the wall and yelps, “You’d shave for her, I bet.”

“Bah, I already fucking had her!”

“When, this morning?”

“Yup!”

Things That Happened Yesterday at Walden Pond

admin — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 20:47:23 +0000

A guy with a dragon tattoo covering the left side of his body showed his lady friend how to do a high-lo high-five.

Old people showed off lots of Speedos and pale flesh.

A kid harangued his girlfriend about how her post-graduation dreams of travel and relaxation and self-discovery were pretty much worthless, because all dreams are worthless when you have bills and zero job prospects. Nice.

Some European guy jumped into the water. “It just looked so good,” he explained to a crowd of onlookers, before adding, “I have only underpants!” “Was it worth it?” someone asked. “No!”

Actually, I Don’t

admin — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 12:50:28 +0000

Walking out of South Station today, I found myself next to this grinning slimeball, who’d made it his mission to place a phone call as loudly as humanly possible. And, success!

“Hey buddy!” he screeched into his phone. “I love the smell of commerce in the morning! Don’t you!!?!?”

Um, no.

And just to clear up any confusion: That’s not commerce in the air. It’s just low tide.

In Which Winter Finally Breaks a City’s Soul

admin — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 22:45:32 +0000

Tons of bizarre behavior out there today – likely a) the after-effects of a brutal winter on the collective psyche, or, b) panic over the fact that there are only twelve shopping days left to score a “Kiss Me, I’m Marty Walsh” T-shirt.

Either way, it’s terrifying outside – particularly on the T. This morning on the Red Line, a fight almost broke out between a bearded dude who wanted a little elbow room to read some boring book, and a Cambridge cat lady who’d elbowed me on her way into the car, and then insisted on sticking her frass right in the bearded guys’ designated reading area. There were cross words and angry gestures and accusations of being grouchy in the morning and the like.

And then, a couple stops later, another bearded dude decided to start shouting about how everybody should cram just a little closer to let some people on the train – a suggestion that earned him a bunch of F-you looks from everybody except for the Cambridge cat lady. The pair immediately, and loudly, bonded over how awful all of humanity is, excepting the two of them.

Of course, all of that is trumped by this dispatch from the road I just received: “Puke all over our orange line car and people are standing in it.”

Cambridge Kid Not So Hot for Valentine’s Day

admin — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 00:09:57 +0000

So I’m walking through Harvard Square this morning and these two 15-year old guys run by, backpacks in tow, grousing about how awful and oppressively sad life is. Obvs. One of them wails, “I’m so distraught!” About what, you might … Continue reading →

Corporate America: BURNED

admin — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 15:04:40 +0000

Here’s a little business humor to while away the hours until the Mega-Wing-Gluttony Bowl begins.

So on Thursday night, I’m at this big year-end Boston real estate wrapup confab. A thousand people in a room watching stats roll by on PowerPoint slideshows and thinking to themselves, You know, that’s not good.

Towards the end, an analyst gets up and talks about the future of retail in These Uncertain Times. And he says, it’s better to have a tenant that might go broke on you than have no tenant at all. So some of you might have to suck it up and take tenants with less than stellar credit.

At which point, a guy in the audience leans over and whispers to another, “You mean, like Citibank?” OH SNAP.

That is all.